Rudyard Kipling, the racist cracker

Yesterday I had the opportuntity to do some research for a co-worker who is writing a story about an upcoming white supremist event. I can't go into any details about her or the event because she's going in undercover. You can read more about it in an upcoming edition of the Atlanta Creative Loafing newspaper. I was researching this particular folk singing duo named Prussian Blue, 12 year old twins that resemble Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen but have no problems bringing back the true meaning of picnic, if you know what I mean. As I worked through various sites about the pre-teen übertwins, I found something that alarmed me. According to their bio, they get inspiration for a lot of their song lyrics from the poems of Rudyard Kipling. My mouth dropped and I stepped away from the computer.

How could this be? Is it true? More importantly, What the fuck!?!

Thinking this would be a good sidebar feature, I dove head first into the world of the famous Author. For those not familiar with his works, he's most famously known for The Jungle Books and Captain Courageous. If you haven't read the books, you've probably seen his works on television with movies like Disney's The Jungle Book or Rankin and Bass' Riki Tiki Tavi. Aside from his books and short stories, Kipling was an acclaimed poet and a Nobel Prize winner for his accumulative body of work.

Skimming through his published poems, two which I found multiple mentions of are The White Man's Burden and The Stranger. After reading them I was appalled, disgusted and doing a mental checklist of anything I may own that he produced so i can coat in gasoline and set it afire. He'd do the same to me If I were a work of fiction...just sayin'.

The Stranger
The Stranger within my gate,
He may be true or kind,
But he does not talk my talk--
I cannot feel his mind.
I see the face and the eyes and the mouth,
But not the soul behind.

The men of my own stock,
They may do ill or well,
But they tell the lies I am wanted to,
They are used to the lies I tell;
And we do not need interpreters
When we go to buy or sell.

The Stranger within my gates,
He may be evil or good,
But I cannot tell what powers control--
What reasons sway his mood;
Nor when the Gods of his far-off land
Shall repossess his blood.

The men of my own stock,
Bitter bad they may be,
But, at least, they hear the things I hear,
And see the things I see;
And whatever I think of them and their likes
They think of the likes of me.

This was my father's belief
And this is also mine:
Let the corn be all one sheaf--
And the grapes be all one vine,
Ere our children's teeth are set on edge
By bitter bread and wine.


Obviously times were different, but a supposedly intelligent and sophisticated literati like Kipling who openly admits and promoted racial supremacy escaped me for a minute. Naturally, as a black man, I withdraw to my comfort zone, donning my psuedo afro (with steel toothed pick), my imaginary nunchucks and brass knuckles to do battle with "whitey." But my question is how do I get back at this Nobel prize winning peckerwood? The only solution I have at the moment is awareness, I would love to have his Nobel prize revoked too, but is that even possible? I read on the BBC website that there is a growing controversy about the topic, I'll keep abreast of the situation and let you know. In the meantime, read the poems and judge for yourself what punishment fits his heinous crime.

I'd say "Die, bastard die," but that fuckin' prick is already feeding worms. I hope they build a port-a-potty over his grave and blacks can just go all over his prejudice ass.

Is gay the new black?

As I read both the fall movie and fall tv preview editions of Entertainment Weekly I noticed that there's not a lot of shows on television which feature African Americans aside from the returning shows on UPN and Fox's The Berny Mac Show. I will say Hispanics are making tinsel town see color, but its all about passing the paper bag test as far as I'm concerned.

One trend I've noticed is instead of a racially diverse cast on the big and small screens, more and more you see that sexuality is the preferred way to bring color to the monochromatic crew. In this instance it seems that rainbows draw more interest than the darker hues.

Remember when EVERY show on television had a wise-cracking black person. I particularly like those big 'ol black ladies getting mad niggerish with the man cause of his obvious ignorance. You know we think all others are just plain ol' crazy anyway. These people just made sure that if you were the kind of majority that felt the urge to cross the street and/or preach about your color blindness, somebody had to be the one to give you a verbal "blackslap" to make you realize just how dumb you really are. Actors Robert Guillaume, Nell Carter and of course Marla Gibbs made paying for the sins of your ancestors a must on any prime time sitcom. In fact, I feel comfortable saying it was the rule, not the exception. Oddly enough the concept of the hired help disrespecting their employers happens even to this day, you can find it in any fast food restaurant in any black neighborhood in the metropolitan Atlanta area. I'm sure it's the same around the country. If Condi can just do the same to her hus..uh I mean boss, well that would be "must see tv." but i digress.

Now, whenever you look at a movie or something on tv, you see a wise-cracking, dolce and gabanna, unionize white gay man throwing zingers and keeping the heterosexuals dazed and confused in order to push their zany antics to some ridiculous result or the other. What the fuck is that all about? At least you don't have that as much in the dramatic movies, it's usually a sexually confused person. In those instances, he's typically homicidal, now if that's not a slice of life, nothing is...right.

Is the new face of diversity a gay or lesbian, if so how will their plight affect the message of tolerance and social change in our society? As a blacks, should we take this lying down and if not, how do we stand up and make Hollywood take notice. Things to consider, the average gay household income is $60,000 with no dependants. This is a great market to appeal to for any advertiser and consequently, the studios and networks.

This rant is a generalization of course, but on the scale of equality I see my brothers and sisters on the way down.

So fresh and so (un)clean

For the past few weeks I've had the opportunity to host a podcast show. Temporarily entitled "The Loafcast," it's a random rant of ideas from myself and co-host, co-webmaster, Aaron Karp. If you're not familiar with podcasting, it's simply a recorded mp3 file that can be played on your computer or portable device.

Some of the topics we've discussed so far have been: bacon (my favorite), the supreme court, huricanne Katrina, George "W" Bush, Fall movies and television, NASCAR and if Aaron has or doesn't have crabs. We're all over the place with topics, but as a test for producing more formatted programming for Creative Loafing Media, they're giving us a surprising amount of freedom to discuss things. We've had "some" comments for the higher-ups, but nothing "too" threatening.

I think the most scathing comment we received so far has been from my mother. After listening to the show she said, "you cuss too much and he (Aaron) talks to much." After the initial shock of my own mom saying I throw the "f" bomb around like a fundamentalist in the Ozarks, I couldn't help but tell my co-host. He just laughed, but to my surprise, he agreed with her.

I don't think I cuss too much. Granted, I have razor's wit about me that lends itself to profanity, but I mean, come on, me!? That's just fuck'n ridiculous. I cuss probably 20 percent of the time, which is pretty good for an African American man who's dealing with the oppressive plight of the my ilk. Just sayin'.

Look out for more blogs and The Loafcast online.